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What does it mean to have a healthy self-esteem? Some people think it means you are okay with how you look. Other people think you must accomplish something big in your life to have a good self-esteem. But the reality is, having a healthy self-esteem means you like and appreciate yourself faults and all. A […]
What does it mean to have a healthy self-esteem?
Some people think it means you are okay with how you look. Other people think you must accomplish something big in your life to have a good self-esteem.
But the reality is, having a healthy self-esteem means you like and appreciate yourself faults and all. A good self-esteem can be the difference between being a happy, resilient individual, able to face life’s challenges head on, and someone who suffers from depression and anxiety and is often overwhelmed with life.
If you have struggled in the past with self-esteem issues, there are some things you can do to give it a much-needed boost:
Are you someone that generalizes your lack of self-esteem? By that I mean, do you make generalities about yourself such as, “I’m an idiot,” “I’m not pretty enough or smart enough?” The truth is, we all act like idiots from time-to-time, and most human beings on this planet can find someone who is smarter and more attractive than they are.
If you’re going to work on your self-esteem, you need to first recognize that you often lie to yourself with these generalities. It may be a very convincing lie from your point of view, but it’s still a lie.
To become familiar with reality, make a list of 10 of your strengths and 10 weaknesses. If you have a hard time coming up with your strengths, think about what others have said about you: you’re a good listener, you are thoughtful, you cook a mean burger.
When you’re done making this list, you’ll see there are plenty of things you are really good at. And, some of the weaknesses may be things you can absolutely change over time and with some effort.
Perfection doesn’t exist. Now you may think all of those Hollywood A-listers that are on the cover of magazines are the epitome of perfection, but even they are air-brushed, photoshopped and have a team of people following them around so their hair is never out of place.
Stop spending your energy trying to have the perfect face, body, bank account, career, children or relationships. None of that exists. Focus your energy on achieving attainable goals like obtaining your degree and enjoying hobbies.
We spend so much of our lives comparing ourselves to others that we don’t really take the time to get to know ourselves. Beyond strengths and weaknesses, who are you as a person? What makes you happy or excites you? What hobbies do you enjoy? What kind of brother or sister are you?
The more you know about yourself, the more chances that you’ll find things out you really like.
If you would like to speak to someone about your self-esteem issues, please be in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
The LGBTQ movement has made some landmark strides in the past decade. The “Don’t Ask – Don’t Tell” policy was repealed, health insurance discrimination has been prevented, and same-sex marriage has been legalized nationwide. This, in combination with greater awareness and visibility of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people in society and the media, […]
The LGBTQ movement has made some landmark strides in the past decade. The “Don’t Ask – Don’t Tell” policy was repealed, health insurance discrimination has been prevented, and same-sex marriage has been legalized nationwide. This, in combination with greater awareness and visibility of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people in society and the media, has helped LGBTQ teens find the courage to come out to their families and friends.
Though it is easier for teens to come out today than in generations past, that does not mean they do not need support, and plenty of it. Here are a few important ways you can support LGBTQ teens in coming out:
1. Encourage Authenticity
There are different levels of coming out. Some teenagers may find the courage to say the words, yet still have a hard time fully expressing themselves. If left unchecked, this muted self-expression can lead to anxiety and depression down the road. Try to find ways to let young people in your life know they can be 100% authentic around you.
2. Help Create Safe Spaces
Take a look around your local community to see if there are safe spaces for LGBTQ youth. If not, what can you do to change that? You might want to consider contacting school board officials and encourage them to adopt inclusive policies. Another way to ensure your community is safe for LGBTQ teens is to not tolerate hate speech. There are also many resources online that offer the best practices in creating safe spaces for LGBTQ youth.
3. Join the Fight
Though the LGBTQ movement has come a long way, there is still much that needs to be done to ensure full LGBTQ equality. You can join the fight and stay up-to-date on local, state and federal advocacy.
If you know an LGBTQ teen who needs some extra support and encouragement while coming out, you might suggest they speak with a professional counselor who can facilitate communication with family members and also offer coping tools and strategies.
As a parent or caregiver, it can be difficult to know the right thing to say when kids question what we deem to be adult topics. Broaching topics of sexuality can be awkward and embarrassing for both parties, however it is a necessary conversation to have. When it comes to talking about homosexuality and transgenderism, […]
As a parent or caregiver, it can be difficult to know the right thing to say when kids question what we deem to be adult topics. Broaching topics of sexuality can be awkward and embarrassing for both parties, however it is a necessary conversation to have.
When it comes to talking about homosexuality and transgenderism, children should be given age appropriate information so they can better understand and empathize with others. Regardless of whether or not your child is LGBTQ, having a conversation about LGBTQ issues will help reduce prejudice while teaching compassion and empathy.
When to Talk
It’s never too late to start a conversation on issues of sexuality with your children. While there may be initial discomfort and reluctance from preadolescent children and older, ultimately having these discussions with your children will help them develop a sense of safety and security with you, while it teaches them tolerance and acceptance.
For young children, the age of 5 is a good time to begin discussing these topics by sharing some basic information with them.
What to Say
For young children, keep the conversation simple and focus on basic concepts. When talking about homosexuality, you can explain to your child that just as a man and a woman can fall in love, so can a man with a man, and a woman with a woman. When talking about transgenderism, you can explain that how a person looks on the outside isn’t always how they feel on the inside. You can refer to the familiar adage about “not judging a book by its cover.”
Children should understand the basic concept that even though people may be or look different than us, they are people just like we are and equally deserving of love, acceptance, and respect.
You Don’t Have to Know Everything
Your child may have questions that you can’t answer. It’s okay to admit to your child when you don’t know the right answer. This could be a discussion point for later after you’ve done some research, or it could be a good opportunity for you to learn from your child.
Are you a parent in need of parenting advice and support? A trained, licensed mental health professional can help. Call my office today, and we can set up an appointment to talk.
As parents, it can be challenging raising a teenager. Teenagers are at the stage where they begin to question the beliefs and values they were raised with, while challenging authority and parental restrictions. Sometimes, teens are struggling with even more issues in their lives. A teen struggling with substance abuse, a mental health disorder, or […]
As parents, it can be challenging raising a teenager. Teenagers are at the stage where they begin to question the beliefs and values they were raised with, while challenging authority and parental restrictions.
Sometimes, teens are struggling with even more issues in their lives. A teen struggling with substance abuse, a mental health disorder, or behavioral problems can cause a great deal of strain on family relationships. While individual therapy will help your teen deal with their personal difficulties, family therapy can help improve the family dynamic and create a more positive home life. A healthy, happy family will not only help your teen cope with personal challenges, but it will benefit your family as a whole.
1. Develop Trust and Honesty
As families talk through their issues in therapy, everyone will learn each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Discussing difficult matters with a professional and unbiased third party can help each member of the family communicate their feelings in a safe and constructive environment. Your therapist will help family members learn something they didn’t know about each other by encouraging people to communicate things they’ve held inside, or by asking questions no one else thought to ask. This effective and honest communication will help develop trust in familial relationships.
2. Improved Communication and Problem-Solving Skills for the Future
Through therapy, your family will learn better ways to communicate their feelings and resolve issues. Your family will learn and develop healthy communication and conflict resolution skills that they can use to help prevent further conflicts from starting.
3. Bring Your Family Closer Together
Applying the techniques learned in therapy will bring your family together. As trust and honesty develop, tensions and stress will be reduced and your home will become a more positive and supporting environment. As each family member gains a better understanding of healthy boundaries, relationships will greatly improve. These positive interactions will increase the peace your family feels when spending time together.
4. Skills Learned Can Be Applied to Other Relationships
Some or all of the skills learned in family therapy can be applied at school, with friends, on the playground or in the workplace. Better communication and conflict resolution skills can help each family member in every aspect of their life. These techniques will continue to help your child as they move through adulthood, even up to when they grow and have families of their own.
If you and your teenager are having a difficult time and need the help of a licensed professional to navigate your way toward a healthier relationship, call my office today so we can set up an appointment.
While there are many surprises and challenges that await you in motherhood, one of the biggest shocks may be time management, or the feeling of being overwhelmed. No matter how happy and fulfilled you may be as a new mom, if you don’t take time out of your busy day to take care of yourself, […]
While there are many surprises and challenges that await you in motherhood, one of the biggest shocks may be time management, or the feeling of being overwhelmed. No matter how happy and fulfilled you may be as a new mom, if you don’t take time out of your busy day to take care of yourself, you’re not giving your precious baby your best self. Ensuring that you practice self-care might seem like the lowest of your priorities, but being rested and cared for yourself is an essential part of being a mom.
While it will be challenging, it’s not impossible to make sure you take care of you. Below are some pointers that can help.
Get Your Sleep
While sleeping for a solid chunk of time may be a pipe dream for some, sleeping when your baby sleeps will allow you to get that much needed rest. If you’re worried that you won’t wake to baby’s cries, keep a baby monitor on your nightstand or bring the crib into your bedroom. Ignore the temptation to do chores while your baby sleeps, because it’s vital that you get your rest.
Stay Well Dressed
While it’s tempting to wear your maternity clothes out of convenience and to save money, it will help you feel your best to have comfortable clothes that fit. Get a couple of outfits in your size to wear until you get back to your pre-baby weight.
Make Time to Shower
If you neglect the simple routine of taking a shower, it will take a toll on your mental health. To make sure you shower regularly, try taking a shower when someone is home. You can also bring your baby in the bathroom with you, or take a quick shower while the baby is napping.
Accept Help
Regardless if you’re single or have a partner, trying to go it alone in caring for your baby is a big mistake. You may hate to ask for or accept help, but raising a baby is a lot of work. By recruiting help, you can make sure you have enough time to not only take care of the baby, but to take care of yourself. To try and do it all yourself does nothing but put unrealistic expectations on you, giving you feelings of guilt when you’re unable to accomplish the impossible. It’s important to ask for and accept help.
Make sure your partner is making an equal effort when it comes to baby’s care, and enlist the help of family and friends. If you have a friend that loves to cook, see if they’ll cook you an occasional meal. You might also ask for help with laundry, running errands, or babysitting (even if it’s just half an hour so you can take a long hot shower.)
Are you a new mom looking for parenting support and guidance? A licensed professional therapist can help. Call my office at your earliest convenience, and let’s schedule an appointment to talk.
If you’re like most people, you are doing your best to stay calm during COVID-19 pandemic. But that can feel incredibly difficult at times. When not worrying about friends and loved one’s health, there’s also the conflicting information provided by the media and the economic ramifications of the virus that have people on edge. Signs […]
If you’re like most people, you are doing your best to stay calm during COVID-19 pandemic. But that can feel incredibly difficult at times. When not worrying about friends and loved one’s health, there’s also the conflicting information provided by the media and the economic ramifications of the virus that have people on edge.
Everyone reacts differently to stressful situations, but most will exhibit some of the following signs:
If you are experiencing significant stress right now, here are some ways you can cope:
Hearing the media constantly spread panic isn’t good for anyone. It’s important to stay rational and do your own research to uncover facts from fiction as well as stay positive.
Be sure to get outside for some fresh air and go for a walk. Eat right and make sure to stay hydrated and get plenty of sleep. Avoid consuming too much alcohol and try and find fun ways to reconnect with your family.
If you have kids, look to them for some good old-fashioned playtime. Play hide and seek in the house. Create an obstacle course in the back yard. Watch some of your favorite funny movies. Laughter really is the best medicine so get plenty of it!
Many local businesses are hurting right now. If you’re still getting a paycheck, consider buying a gift card from a local restaurant, gym, hair salon, etc. to give them revenue now and you can use the card later. This will make you feel great at the same time.
Remember, your kids will ALWAYS look to you first to see how they should be thinking and feeling about something. So move about each day calmly and confidently and reassure your kids everything will be okay because it will be.
For many of us, there is a silver lining in this situation in the form of extra time. What can you do with the extra time that isn’t being used to drive an hour or more each day in commuting? Focus on using this time wisely. Maybe you have an ever-growing list of home projects that you just never have time to tackle. Tackle them now, you’ll feel great about it later.
If you find yourself becoming too stressed or depressed during this time, I encourage you to connect with me. Speaking with a therapist can help you cope with the situation and navigate the days ahead. I am currently able to conduct sessions over the phone or via Skype, so you won’t even have to leave your home if your state is in lockdown.
SOURCES:
https://www.ucihealth.org/news/2020/03/covid-19-anxiety
https://www.health.state.mn.us/communities/ep/behavioral/stress_covid19.pdf